In the midst of daily pressures and focus on the outer world demands, we often lose the connection with who we are at our core. This tendency is reflected in individuals whose lives becomes mired in pressures and struggles that weigh them down and contribute to shortness with others, impatience, and intensity focused on tasks and “getting it right” over seeing the people we are impacting by our behaviors. Whether in a corporate, educational, or family setting, I would submit that these attributes are side effects of amnesia, the disconnect between what we know in our hearts and the noise in our heads that takes us away from our truth of who we are. It appears in unconscious behavioral choices that are surely not reflective of the best we are here to bring to the world.

What if the antidote is to re-member the parts of us? What if the invitation is to recognize the different messages in our heads and check them against whether giving them attention makes us a better version of the person we are choosing to be or worse? What if consciously recognizing who we choose to be and making a commitment to re-member those qualities we want to bring to the world precedes our daily choices?

Our organizations might develop institutional memory of the best in people instead of breeding internal competition, self-doubt, and emotional manipulation. AND we, as individuals connected to the highest and best in ourselves would make choices that raise ourselves, and others, up in more civil and compassionate ways. There is an antidote to the amnesia. AND it is within the reach of the humblest. We need only choose to remember that, as infants, we were love and generated love by our very presence AND we are still love at the core. We only need to re-member before we act.

If we really paid attention to the roles served so well that we could see the women behind these roles, what stories might we discover? The young woman desperately wanting to be a good mom lacking the guidance herself to know how? The well intended, yet driven woman who is so attached to her children’s happiness that she loses herself? The deeply caring woman with no boundaries who sacrifices her health to focus her energy on her children’s needs? The young girl who seeks the love in a child that she did not experience herself?

Who are these women who step into our lives or otherwise give birth to us? So often their courage is masked because their love for us overshadows what it takes for them to be all they want to be in life. Just as often they give so much, reminding us to be our best and holding their breath to see that it happens, that their hopes and dreams for themselves are not evident.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this year, can we make the effort to shine the light on the women behind the guiding roles in our lives to see the generosity, love, and beauty of their stories? What might we find that allows us to celebrate and feel only love and gratitude for those who give so much to their children–biological, adopted, or befriended? To the women who have chosen to be Moms–whatever that means to you–thank you for all you are, all you do, and all you have been to those of us whom you have touched.

And to my Mom who lives in my heart, my Godmother who has guided me for a lifetime, and the teachers and friends who have always been there, Happy Mother’s  Day.

My first question, consistent with the developmental stage concept, is, “what if life and death are not opposites?” What if death is not the absence of life? What if our current response to death is more of a reflection of the limitations of our human mind and senses? In other words, is it because we cannot see or feel a person who has died that we fail to recognize life occurring in another form?

How many times have you felt the presence of others who are not physically in the room? Or heard a familiar voice directing your actions, when no one else is apparently present? Or heard a piece of music at exactly the moment you needed to hear it to know what to do about a situation? What if, because we have no direct experience of death, we limit the possibility of recognizing another stage of life beyond the physical realm?

What I am really intrigued by is how we limit our capacity to consider different ways of seeing or believing by unconsciously clinging to the familiar, sometimes because of our fear that we if we change our beliefs, we might have to change ourselves. And other times because we fear being rejected by others with whom we seek to belong. I am fascinated by how we foster states of fear and anxiety in ourselves and then foist them on unsuspecting family, friends, and coworkers, thereby supporting collective denial of new ways of seeing and being. What if, instead, we chose what qualities we most like in ourselves and how we want to feel in every moment and then ask if the way we are thinking about a person, idea, or situation produces those feelings and evokes those qualities?

For example, if you are choosing to celebrate life and welcome its gifts, and your way of thinking about someone’s impending death produces a sense of profound loss, fear, anxiety, or sadness, how else might you think about life and death? In the case of my friend, I think about a beautiful, creative, and courageous woman who has led her life consistent with her values–seeking the positive and enjoying peace and laughter with family and friends. I think about her impending freedom from a physical body currently ravaged by pain and illness. And I think about her having lived into her life’s gifts in a way that inspires others to do the same. Perhaps her release from physical constraints is a gift and because of our human limitations, we judge her death untimely because it does not fit our wishes.

The capacity to see and experience things in new and ever-changing ways is open to each of us. Perhaps what is asked of us is to first connect deeply with our heart’s desires for who we choose to be and how we want to feel. AND then in the context of those ends, we are invited to abandon the familiar to consider what new ways of thinking and believing align with our deepest instincts. AND if we were to make such a shift, how much healthier could we become for ourselves and others on the planet?

One of the features of our calls that differ from other conference calls is the amount of silence. I notice that the more insightful the comment, the more limited the verbal response. Sometimes, it is pure silence. Other times it is a several people uttering only, “hmm”.

What I love is the group’s ability to enjoy whatever comes up and to be so present with the conversation that we are not planning what to say next. There is room to listen AND learn. Saying less becomes the norm, allowing insights and new connections to flow.

What if the pace of wisdom is very fast AND the conversational environment that supports it seems slow? What if the pace of conversation is opposite the pace of insight? If we wanted to live in wisdom and allow wisdom to guide our lives, how might we change our conversations?

I know that a house is often seen as s psychological mirror of our lives, the attic referring to the mind, the basement to our roots, and so on. I want to limit clutter in the closets and basement of the new house. Today, I find it fun to ask whether the emotional and mental space required to carry the past is a part of how I want to design for my future. AND my answer varies with each object I consider.

I also find that the letting go process becomes very light when I think of it as an AND. I get to acknowledge the gift some object has been, the heartwarming connection it has provided me, AND acknowledge whether it fits the way I am designing my life now without diminishing what it has meant to me. Rather than thinking of letting go as a loss, I consider it a celebration and a release to make the emotional, physical, and mental space for what life offers me now.

AND I wonder what would happen if a physical move were not required to help any of us to release our hold on carrying the past with us because we understand at what cost we continue to carry it. What would happen if we consciously choose to smile, feel the warmth, AND release whatever limits the space to live into the greatness of what is to come?

I am grateful to live in a country where legislators elected by the people engage a political process to implement laws that serve the betterment of entire country. AND I find myself even more grateful to live in a country that is dynamic and changing, a country where we continue to question laws even when they have been passed. AND a country where a small band of intelligent judges come together to engage a process of thoughtful deliberation that is antithetical to the direction our technology seems to take today.

Where our technology seeks to send us more personally targeted ads, thereby helping us to develop ever-narrowing perspectives for likes and dislikes, the Supreme Court process invites exactly the opposite. Attorneys on both sides of an issue work with the nuances and implications of decisions to present best arguments for consideration by a panel of judges. These judges are required to look at the issues from many angles and then discern the path most aligned with either the letter or spirit of our constitution. AND no one judge gets to determine the outcome.

Dialogue, deliberation and thoughtful reflection are required for a conscious and civil society to reach a decision that serves collective growth. What a gift to live in a society where this is the process! It doesn’t necessarily mean that we will always agree with the decisions. What it does mean is that each of us is invited to recognize that diversity and inclusion are not nice to haves if we want quality and insight to characterize decisions that affect many people. Both diversity and inclusion are essential for a society governed by collective wisdom, rather than personal agendas and individual limitations.

Our best decisions consider the wisdom of opposing and seemingly disparate perspectives. On the edges of clear centers we often find the place for inspiration and creativity, insight and perspective. AND we need each other to provide such opportunities to reflect on new perspectives.

The next time you look to technology to direct you to more of what you already know you like, ask yourself what could happen if you were to seek alternative views.

These moments are when life happens. Being present is all that is asked of us to experience miracles unfolding before our eyes. In moments, we have no awareness of time. We expect nothing and as a result, are open to whatever unfolds. Instead of trying to recapture or hold onto incomplete memories, we are invited to recognize that each moment is an invitation to experience life, as it happens.

The first occurred when I found myself in a conversation with a generous client and friend. Alone in a geography I have traveled to for over a decade, I was delighted when she spontaneously invited me to join a group who would be getting together one evening of the weekend. I was immediately touched by her offer of inclusion. She did not label me by what I do, thereby excluding me from personal adventures because work and personal relations are not to be co-mingled, as so many others believe.

Instead, in an instant, she saw me and welcomed me. In that moment, I felt elated. I was filled with gratitude and celebration of the generous outreach of a friend. And I felt a kind of giddy jubilation that she had invited me to a home other than her own without consulting the host. No following rules when led by the heart!

The offer was simple and spontaneous. And I noticed that it didn’t actually matter to me whether I went or not, whether the host had room for one more or not. The invitation was the moment that held the beauty of life’s potential.

The other moment occurred later that same day, as I was walking back from the grocery store, purchases in hand. In one direction the sun was shining, sky blue with white puffy clouds. In the opposite direction, the sky was filled with ominously dark clouds. It was not clear to me which scenario would prevail. Would I and my groceries in a brown paper bag be drenched? Or would I walk all the way back to the hotel in sunlight?

And in a moment, the outcome didn’t matter. Because, in a moment everything changed. I looked squarely in the direction of the looming black cloud, and there, like a ribbon in the sky against a foreboding backdrop, was a magnificent rainbow. I followed it all the way back to the hotel, tickled by its presence, filled with both awe and gratitude. And again, I felt that glee-filled joy. Simple. Elegant. I got to experience the miracle and beauty of life in a moment, because I showed up in that moment.

Life happens in a moment–birth and death, light and dark–AND every moment is a new invitation to experience life. Every moment we lose because we are in our heads lamenting the past, trying to engineer what happens next, or worrying about the future is another moment we miss to experience the wonder and beauty of life. AND what would we do differently if we recognized that each moment is when–and only when–life happens?

What would would happen if we thought of every day as April Fool’s Day?

What might we learn from a flower about stepping into the gift of who we are?

Sink your roots deeply in the earth

Turn your face to the sunlight

Bloom fully wherever you plant your roots

Open to the light

Close up to the darkness

Stretch toward the heavens

Stand tall and strong as other species drink from your sweet nectars

Celebrate the season when you bloom

Drink in refreshing rain and nutrients

Fully express your gifts to serve all who choose to see your beauty

Expect nothing

Not bad from a single flower! Imagine the possibilities of our gifts fully expressed!

None of us exists in isolation. What if the smallest unit of existence consists of at least three interrelated elements: who you are, whatever/whomever you are in relationship with, and the relationship itself that connects you and the other. A visual image might be a barbell with one end being you, the other end being the other entity (person, role, idea, belief…), and the bar that links you the nature of the connection between you—the relationship.

On the journey to living a life of fulfillment, joy, and ease where we flow with the rhythms of nature to create the lives we choose to live and the people we choose to be, we are called to examine what relationships enhance and which undermine our energy and gifts. For every decision we make to hold up an unhealthy relationship, we rob ourselves of the energy needed to invest in relationships that fill us up and allow us to contribute in ways that matter to us.

To the extent we identify ourselves with our ideas, beliefs, or roles we play in life we shrink to fit into the boxes of expectations we associate with those boxes. What if every moment of discomfort or bliss is an opportunity to recognize the relationship and consciously choose whether investing our precious gifts and energy returns at least as much as we are putting in. In other words, since we control how we invest our energy, are we investing in the kinds of relationships with people, ideas, beliefs, work, or roles that pay enormous dividends or are we blindly ignoring the signals of relationships that are out of whack (relative to who we say we want to be or want to create with our lives)?

Every relationship is a give and take. How many relationships are you invested in today where you give far more than you get? From how many do you grow into a better version of who you want to be because of what you put in and how that investment is returned to you? What if the door to a life of ease, joy, and fulfillment of dreams is opened by healthy relationships? And what if we choose only those relationships that serve those dreams? And the door is accessible to each of us because everyone has his or her own key.