AND Then Let Go

November 5th, 2017

Have you ever stopped to notice the number of times you make the same choice on the same issue before acting? And then replay the same topic after acting, questioning whether…?

I have noticed that when looking backward in order to make a decision about how to move forward, my vision gets cloudy. It’s a little like trying to drive into the future by only looking in the rear view mirrors. We could probably move the car forward with great effort. Most assuredly, our brilliance, delight, and perspective are clouded when we look to the past to choose the path to the future.

The fear of making a mistake in making a change in direction from what has been familiar, rewarded, and comfortable often robs us of living with ease and inner peace. We know what change is required. We paralyze ourselves with what if’s and resort to familiarity over truth and the courage to listen to our hearts.

When we know it is time to stop some tradition or change a relationship, our tendency may be to look back in the rear view mirror on how long it has been in place and forget the cost of keeping it going. It is time to stop this behavior by focusing on AND rather than BUT.

What I mean by this is to first acknowledge what needs to be changed so we can live into our light, find our joy, and bring our highest selves to this world. Having admitted our truth, it is then time to acknowledge that we have been engaging in whatever behavior or relationship for whatever period of time we have engaged it. This is precisely the point where going to BUT causes us to get stuck on how long we have kept it going, how much others will be disappointed in our change, and myriad other excuses to convince ourselves that it is easier not to change.

The antidote is instead to shift to AND thinking. This means honoring the past, with no negative judgments whatsoever. Changing something now does not mean that it was bad in the past. It only means that what worked in the past worked in the past AND is not working now to move forward in life. A change in direction does not negate the value of the past if we remember to honor the past AND acknowledge the importance of making the change we know we want or need to make now.

AND when a decision is made, even if others do not like or understand it, we need to stop playing it in our heads. We do this by acknowledging the thought that replays both sides of the issue we have decided AND reminding ourselves that this decision is already made AND we are not open for reconsidering it. AND then let go and focus energy on whatever makes us laugh, enjoy the moment, and bring our highest selves and light to every step into the future.

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