AND Give and Take AND Share

December 18th, 2016

In this season of gifting, I find myself reflecting on three different relationships with gifts. One is giving. Giving gifts is something that typically fills the giver more than receiving gifts. The sense of delight created by giving to others is a major emotional fill up for those who love to give.

The challenge for those who love to give is often that they are less willing to receive. In fact, for some givers, who are learning to create healthier relationships in their lives, learning to see receiving as a gift they give to the others is the most natural way to help them learn to create more balanced relationships.

Another relationship with gifting is receiving. Those who love to receive gifts know how to delight in opening presents and welcoming what others provide for them. Those who have come to love receiving without giving often come to expect that others will take care of their wishes. AND a sense of entitlement may come to be a part of their relationship with others and with gifting.

The third option is sharing the experience of gifting. The difference between giving only or receiving only, and sharing is that the participants in the gifting relationship value the mutuality. The opportunity to participate with another person, who also wants to engage in both giving and receiving, creates an awareness of how precious the relationship is and how much each person wants for the other.

While the exchange of tangible gifts may occur, for those who value sharing the giving and receiving of gifts, the gift of doing something that is both personally rewarding and serves another becomes precious in itself. Often the actual physical gift is less important because the gift of sharing an experience is emotionally fulfilling.

So in this season of giving and gifting, perhaps we could step back. With conscious intention, we could create a way of sharing, of consciously choosing a mutually heartwarming experience where we truly feel special and experience the joy of helping another to feel the same way. That way, we deepen the connection and celebrate the people with whom we share our experiences.

Truly a gift.

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