AND Just Play

February 9th, 2014

 Sometimes writing this blog reminds me of taking piano lessons as a child. I loved the idea of playing the piano. I loved the music. I just didn’t love to practice. Somehow I just did not make space for a half hour to practice piano each day. AND as a result, I would invariably have two and a half hours of practice saved up by Saturday and would need to do it all at once.

My Mom could never understand why I wouldn’t do a half hour a day. There’s something about steps that never seemed fun or inspiring. Sometimes when I would have so much practice time saved up, I would sing the songs I was playing at the top of my lungs to make practicing more fun. (AND if you know me, you know that my singing has been known to cause others to tell me never to quit my day job.) My Mom would often come to the top of the stairs and simply yell down, “Just play.” Oh well, so much for distraction.

There is something, about deadlines, that brings out creative avoidance in me, something that makes almost anything on my desk worthy of attention and play, just not writing. At the same time, deadlines seem to evoke solid organizational skills that actually support my getting stuff done and off the list, providing a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

I have never been a consistent writer in terms of journaling regularly. There are simply too many other things I enjoy doing in the moment. What I find is that the structure of committing to a weekly blog reminds me to make the space to let ideas emerge with no attachment to what comes. Sometimes I actually have things I want to say. More often, something appears once I sit down to write. AND….I make that space to write just before I have to get the blog post to my friend who posts it for me (I am technologically allergic) by Sunday morning.

If deadlines give freedom to play until something needs doing, something that we commit to doing or something that we inherently value, then I am grateful not only for the deadlines. I am also grateful for the space around the deadlines where I give myself permission to just play. It all gets done in the end anyway.

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