And…

Summertime seems to be synonymous with taking vacation time for most people I know. The people I have been talking with recently have either already gone on vacation, are on vacation, or are planning vacation. I found myself thinking about what it means (literally) to go on vacation. According to my Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, one definition of to “vacate” is to “deprive of force or efficacy; make inoperative, meaningless, or useless.”

I love this definition as I think about adult relationships with work relative to our relationships with play. I love the idea of rendering work “meaningless, or useless.” Those who go on vacation tethered to the blackberry and other forms of technology baffle me. Read the rest of this entry »

I was fascinated by an NPR story and interview with Professor Paul Bloom about our relationship with our imagination. In the context of the conversation, Professor Bloom explained that the #1 activity of humans, in terms of time spent, is imagining. According to Professor Bloom, more than time spent with technology—emails, texting, or other activities—we humans choose to daydream and engage in activities where we create with our imaginations.

A more provocative dimension of Professor Bloom’s observations is that we do not discern whether a situation, character, or personality with whom we engage emotionally at any given moment of our day is real or imagined. The implication is that we are as upset by what happens to a favorite fictional character in a book or on a television show as we are with what happens to real people in our lives, and sometimes react in ways that seem a bit over the top for imaginary characters. Some people write to ask authors not to kill off favorite characters in book series; others spend hours talking with friends about television show characters with the same rage or drama, as if they were real. Read the rest of this entry »

I was listening to National Public Radio yesterday and was fascinated by some of the comments made by Rachael Naomi Remen. Although many of her insights are worthy of reflection, I would like to focus on one in particular because it is so simple and so powerful.

Ms Remen made the statement that, “Objectivity is just another bias.” AND I immediately sat up and smiled. The value for objectivity is so subtly and pervasively inserted in virtually all professions and professional education and training that we forget to question its limitations. The value for objectivity becomes another one of those voices in our heads that limit our willingness to trust our hearts to guide our choices in conversations and decision-making. Read the rest of this entry »

A wonderful woman in The Netherlands was telling me that she often doesn’t know the labels for flowers she grows or beautiful fish she encounters when diving. She doesn’t care what the”correct” labels are. What she cares about is describing their beauty, their brilliance, their color and texture. She cares about sharing the power of the experience as she feels it—without the labels. Read the rest of this entry »

A friend died this week. Well, maybe “colleague” is more accurate. I don’t know how to label our relationship. I only know what I feel when I think of her and her passing. We shared a common alumnae association as well as having worked together on a small committee as Trustees of Wheaton College in Massachusetts.

She was a dancer and an internationally acclaimed dance educator. Elegant, graceful with an easy smile and infectious laugh. We worked mostly by telephone and sometimes in person. I don’t think we spent more than a week’s worth of days together in three years all told, if you add up the conversation time and meeting times. Yet, her death hit me hard because the connection was so natural and so appreciated. Read the rest of this entry »

Flipping the channels the other night, a good friend and I found a show called something like “Minute to Win It” on the television. Something about the show caught our attention. If you haven’t seen it, contestant teams play against the clock to win money.

What I found intriguing about the show is a few distinct features not present in many other shows. First, the prospective contestants have the opportunity in advance to prepare for the exact challenges they will perform on the show. These exercises are things like threading a series of increasingly smaller needles, removing small items from underneath bottles without causing the bottles to fall, using one spoon to flip another spoon into an open container and the like. The challenges do not take extraordinary skill, education, or expense. They are within the reach of anyone who is willing to practice in the context of her or his own home. Read the rest of this entry »

Remember the opening line from the old Porgy and Bess song– “Summertime and the livin’ is easy”? Well, based on a half a dozen conversations I have had with clients and friends this week, the livin’ isn’t easy. And I’m wondering why.

Have we gotten so caught up in the life of the mind that we refuse to notice that the sun is out, we need a rest, and nature is providing ample opportunity to reconnect with the slower and meandering pace of nature? Are the demands of role expectations and work either in the home or outside so demanding that we shut out what our hearts are telling us we need? Do you know that the work will still be there when you get back? (and may not be nearly as important as you initially thought?) In the words of one client this week, “Wow, I went away for three weeks and the place is still standing!” Read the rest of this entry »

I was talking with some friends the other day about what we perceive as reality and it got me thinking about video games and other forms of escape from what we define as our reality. I started wondering what it would take to let go of the entire argument about what is true and what is real and simply accept that we create our own reality that either matches what is or doesn’t. Read the rest of this entry »

I am fascinated by the things and people that we choose to celebrate and what we choose to overlook. The United States has become such a culture of celebrity that we mark anniversaries of stars’ deaths and forget community voices that have personally touched our lives over the years.

Living in the Northeast means being exposed to many great celebrations on Independence Day. We offer reenactments of our ancestors’ battles for independence, wave the flag, ring church bells, and otherwise celebrate with food, outdoor activities, and general merriment. Along the way, we tend to single out the great leaders and overlook the multitudes who had a part in creating new ways of living in a new country, bringing new traditions to create a new identify, and doing their often quiet parts to allow those with more prominent roles to lead effectively. Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever noticed how much people want to root for something and feel good about winning? I was with my family waiting for a table to open up in a restaurant, when the Red Sox got the winning run and the entire room erupted. No hesitation. No one knew anyone else seated in the waiting room. Yet, smiles appeared, cheers accompanied, and the atmosphere changed immediately.

The World Cup is providing the same opportunity to root for the home team, with homes, gathering places, and some workplaces erupting when the country of choice wins. It’s fun for some and far more serious for others. Read the rest of this entry »